Friday, May 15, 2020

Imperfectly Perfect

Factual statement number 1: None of us are perfect. 
Factual statement number 2:We, in general, like to present ourselves as looking as close to what we imagine perfect to be as possible. 
Those two facts being acknowledged; we, in general, like to hide our imperfections from ourselves and others whenever possible. We hide them in many ways. Make-up, extensions, straightening, exercising, plastic surgery. There are as many ways to fix what we see as imperfect about ourselves as there are perceived imperfections.
What we do to hide our physical beauty imperfections, and what we see as imperfections in need of hiding, varies by culture. In some cultures we take what we are given by God and we manipulate it in different ways to make it what we want it to be. In other cultures we take what we are given by God and enhance and celebrate it. I experienced this particular way of living with "imperfections" during my trip to Italy in Fall of 2018.
The weather during my trip was unseasonably warm and humid. While visiting Rome, I wanted to get around the city on my own schedule, so I rented a car but when it seemed unlikely I would find parking I took the subway. This decision proved to be a good one for many reasons including the opportunity to encounter some of Italy's natural beauties.
On this particular day there was rain in the morning, the clouds cleared and the sun came out with a slight breeze. At one of the stops a woman boarded the train with beautiful curly hair. Now I am biased being that curly hair is what I specialize in cutting but the beauty would be recognized by most and if it isn't, it should be. She was dressed nicely, had on a bit of makeup and her hair, or I should properly say her mane, was beautifully wild. 
She'd obviously used product but the combination of wind and humidity had stirred it up. She was unbothered or,I hoped, happy with it. Her hair was beautiful in it's imperfection as was she in her acceptance of it. On another subway ride the same day another wild beauty boarded the train this time much more stylish. Finer clothes, heavier make-up, curls more defined but with visible frizz that, in my view, added to the beauty and, it seemed, she did too.
I thought to myself these women have a different sense of beauty than most of the women I come into contact with as a stylist and in my personal life. I wondered how they came to see themselves this way and the answer I came up with was "choice".
They made a choice to see themselves differently. They chose to see beauty where many other women might see a mess. Something that needs to be "fixed", through blow drying straight or chemical processing, or covered up. We all have the option to make this same choice but the majority do not because we have either convinced ourselves or been convinced by society that these women are different. They have a pool of self confidence naturally that the rest of us don't. Though that may be the case in some people, I suspect many feel the feelings of insecurity that others do but they buck them and do what they know to be beautiful even if others see it as imperfect. They make the decision to allow themselves to be imperfectly beautiful. 
This time of quarantine and social distancing offers many the opportunity to see themselves as they are. As God made them and is making them. Many don't like what they see. Gray hair. Frizzy hair. Out of place hairs in out of place places. I challenge yourself to see yourself differently. See the beauty in your imperfections as those women in Italy do. As I do. As God does. Beauty in our imperfections.